


laal ishq

by asmaanixx



Category: Ishq Mein Marjawan 2
Genre: Blood, Cutting, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hospitalization, Self-Harm, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:22:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29566059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asmaanixx/pseuds/asmaanixx
Summary: Laal rang suhaag ki nishani hai. Tumhe pata hai dhoke ki kya nishani hai? Khoon. Laal khoon.Hot tears fell out of her eyes as she pressed the broken shard against her skin. A single slice and crimson blood began to seep out.“Lo Vansh. Tumhare taraf har dhoke ki nishani.” She cried as she began to leave a mark for every time she betrayed him.
Relationships: Riddhima/Vansh Raisinghania
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	1. sindoor

Riddhima ripped the maang tikka off her forehead. She eyed the hideous red powder that was adorning the middle of her parting. She vigorously swiped at it with her palm. Instead of wiping away, it simply spread some more. She rubbed it again, and again. It still wouldn’t go away. Her frustration growing, her useless swiping eventually transformed into her simply hitting herself. Hitting her forehead where it was now smeared with red powder to slapping herself for allowing herself to get into such a situation in the first place. With a loud cry, she collapsed to the floor.

The whole reason why she had brought Vihaan home was so that she wouldn’t have to dishonor Vansh’s memory and marry someone else. Yet, today because of him, that’s exactly what happened. He stole the right that belonged exclusively to Vansh. And Riddhima? She just stood there like a speechless statue and allowed it to happen.

“Why didn’t you say something?” She scolded herself while hitting her forehead.

What was the point of crying and remembering Vansh if she couldn’t even stand up for them? But how could she when the man she had brought home as Vansh was standing right in front of her. If she had stopped him, the Raisinghanias, especially Kabir, would have been even more suspicious of Vansh’s identity. There would have been no rest until the truth came out. And then what would have happened? She and Vihaan would have gone to jail for trying to commit fraud, giving Anupriya and Kabir easy access to Vansh’s empire. But there’s another imposter sitting on Vansh’s throne right now. And she’s the one who put him there.

She slammed her forehead for her immense stupidity. If only she hadn’t been cornered and short on time. If only she had gotten the opportunity to know Vihaan a little more. She wasn’t certain if things would have changed drastically, but at least she would have been somewhat prepared for all the curveballs he threw at her.

Riddhima sniffled. All she knew for sure is that she committed an absolute heinous crime against Vansh tonight and she deserved to be punished for it.

_ Agar galti se bhi mujhe dhoka dene ki jurat kar betho, toh isse pehle ki mujhe pata lage, apne aap ko isse khatam kar dena. _

“Dhoka hi toh diya hai tumhe meine Vansh.” She said dejectedly.

Before they got married, after they did, when they were walking around eggshells trying to figure out how to start their relationship anew, and now even after his death. Riddhima has done nothing but betray him at every turn.

What right did she have to walk around unscathed?

She looked around and saw the shards of red bangles she had broken, laying on the floor. She picked one piece up and eyed it.

_ Laal rang suhaag ki nishani hai. Tumhe pata hai dhoke ki kya nishani hai? Khoon. Laal khoon. _

Hot tears fell out of her eyes as she pressed the broken shard against her skin. A single slice and crimson blood began to seep out.

“Lo Vansh. Tumhare taraf har dhoke ki nishani.” She cried as she began to leave a mark for every time she betrayed him.

Within a few minutes, the inside of her arm had become a bloody mess because of all the little slits she had carved into herself.

“RIDDHIMA!”

She startled hearing her name. She turned around and saw Vihaan standing in the doorway, with his eyes bulging out of his sockets. He immediately ran towards her, and ripped the broken glass bangle out of her hand and threw it away.

“Pagal ho gayi ho kya? The FCK do you think you’re doing?” He yelled at her.

Feeling weak, Riddhima mustered a smile and told him, “Tumhari suhaag ki nishani mere liye dhoka hai. Aur ek dhokebaaz ko sirf saaza di jaati hai Vihaan, maafi nahi.”

Her eyes closing, she would have fallen backwards had it not been for Vihaan holding her up.

“Aankhein kholo Riddhima!” He yelled.

He took off the scarf that was adjusted against his jacket, and wrapped it around her scarred wrist. Fearing her pulse getting weak, Vihaan lifted her in his arms and rushed her to the hospital.

While in the car, he kept urging, “Riddhima stay with me.”

In her delirious state, all Riddhima could manage was to call out Vansh’s name.

“I’m right here.” Vihaan said. He lightly slapped her on the cheek in the hopes she would keep her eyes open. “Riddhima!”

“Vansh.”

Vihaan pulled her to his chest and berated her. “Oh you stupid,  _ stupid _ girl. Why would you do such a thing?” He eyed her bandaged wrist that had become far too bloody for his liking. “Can you drive faster?” He yelled at the driver.

As they slowly inched towards the hospital, Vihaan carefully looked at the woman he was holding dearly in his arms. Clad in a red bridal suit, her forehead spattered with red vermillion, and wrists draining her life out in a crimson pool. He pressed her against his chest as if it would harbor her from the danger she had brought upon herself. He was beginning to grow a deep disdain for the color red.


	2. pehchaan

Vansh with his arms crossed, rested his head against the hospital wall.

What happened tonight was  not according to his plan. The whole reason he had created Vihaan was for him to find out who the fck his enemies were through Riddhima. Never in his wildest imaginations had he expected Riddhima to do something as drastic as  _ this _ .

Slashing her arms up like it was confetti and not her own flesh…  _fck_!

Maybe he had underestimated her. Maybe she wasn’t as strong as he had believed her to be. No, that wasn’t it. What had she said to him before she fainted?

_ “Tumhari suhaag ki nishani mere liye dhoka hai. Aur ek dhokebaaz ko sirf saaza di jaati hai Vihaan, maafi nahi.” _

Biting down on his lip, Vansh suppressed a curse. Foolish girl! This isn’t what he wanted from her. Yes, as Vihaan he had wanted to partially hurt her, but it was  _ never _ with the intention of inflicting physical harm onto her. At most, he just wanted to mess with her mind a little and figure out whether or not the feelings she proclaimed to have for him were true or not.

Well, given what she did tonight, he doesn’t have reason to doubt her intentions ever again. He just hoped that she would make it okay. If she didn’t… no. She  _ will _ make it out okay. She has to. She just has to.

“Mr. Raisinghania.” The doctor called. Vansh immediately stood up. “Your wife is out of danger now but given the extent and nature of her injuries, she will need to be kept under observation for the next forty-eight hours. It’s part of protocol.”

“Of course.” Vansh replied. “I’ll be staying here with her.”

“Mr. Raisinghania…” The doctor but Vansh interrupted him.

“I hear the hospital has been trying to collect funds to create a new cardiac wing.” All Vansh had to do was look at the doctor and his intention was understood.

“I’ll see to it that arrangements for your stay will be made.” He spoke with a tight smile.

“I want to see my wife.” Vansh announced.

“She’ll be taken upstairs to the private suite as you had requested. You may join her there.” The doctor informed.

Vansh nodded and made his way to the suite.

* * *

Vansh stepped inside the private hospital suite with a fallen face, and a thudding heart.

For a second Vansh thought of turning on the lights, but then thought again. Riddhima was sleeping. There was no need to unnecessarily disturb her any further. Using the luminance coming from the beeping machines, Vansh made his way towards his wife and pulled up a chair beside her.

He stared at her rising and falling chest and listened to the beeps on her monitor for reassurance that she was actually there. Sleeping, but still alive. He gently reached out and held her hand. Her wrist and a large portion of her arm were covered in thick white bandages. He laid her hand against the bed again, not wishing to risk opening up any of the stitches she must have surely gotten. Instead, he rested his own hand atop of hers and stared at her.

“I’m sorry Riddhima.” He whispered, not wishing to break the silence. “I shouldn’t have lied to you. Not back then about Ragini, and definitely not now about being Vihaan.” He scoffed. “I always gave you so much trouble about not being honest with me, and not trusting me enough. But the truth is I didn’t do the same with you. Agar kiya hota toh hamari life mein itne saare problems nahi aate na Riddhima. I was so stupid. Jab se tum meri life mein aayi tumhe bas hurt hi kiya hai. Sach kahun toh agar tumne yeh nahi kiya hota na, I would have carried on hurting you. I don’t know why but it’s so easy for me to do that to you rather than to love you.” He scoffed. “Shayad ab aadat si ho gayi hai.” He ran a hand over her hair and leaned forward to place a kiss on her forehead.

He was going to do better though. There’s no way he can have a repeat of what happened tonight.

* * *

Vansh was absolutely grateful when the doctor finally left him and Riddhima alone. He knew Riddhima needed to be informed about everything that happened and what the next course of action would be, but Vansh didn’t see why he couldn’t do it himself. Every minute that Riddhima spent with her attention not on him felt torturous. There was  _ so much  _ that he wanted to say to her.

“Riddhima.” He gently held her hand and smiled at her. His smile faded when she pulled her hand away. “Riddhima, mein-”

“Who are you?” She asked.

His smile faded and his face scrunched in confusion. Did she lose her memory? No, the doctor would have noticed if she had.

“Riddhima, it’s me V-”

“Agar tumne Vansh ka naam liya toh ek baat yaad rakhna. Iss baar mein bach gayi. Par agli baar nahi bachungi.”

Vansh’s heart thudded. Did she just threaten to kill herself again? That too, upon seeing him… Vansh…

“So I ask again. Who are you?” There was nothing but a dead stare in her eyes, and Vansh knew she wasn’t bluffing with her previous statement. She really would end her life if he revealed himself to her.

Swallowing the heavy lump in his throat, and ignoring his burning eyes, he said, “Vihaan.”

“Get out.” Came the instant command. With her face turned away, she told him, “Only family’s allowed in here.”

This time he didn’t even bother trying to stop the heavy tears that fell down his cheek. Instead, clenching his jaw, and nodding, he stood up and quietly made his way to the door. He looked back towards Riddhima and she had turned her head the other way. It was as if something sharp pierced through his heart. The same woman who punished herself for inadvertently betraying him, now couldn’t even bear to look at him.

Vansh swiped at his cheeks, and resolved himself. No matter. Let her cry and be angry tonight. He’ll make it up to her.


	3. khafa

Riddhima had stayed at the hospital for the required forty-eight hours. She had communicated with the doctor, the nurses, and even the recommended psychologist. But she had refused to meet or speak with Vansh. He saw the questioning glances the medical professionals would throw his way. Even though they may not have the courage to voice them, there was a lingering doubt of whether or not he was the reason why Riddhima had tried to end her life.

They were right in their assumptions. With his angry and harshful words, he had forced Riddhima to take this drastic action. He wanted to make amends, he truly did. But he had to meet Riddhima in order for that to happen.

Thankfully, she had been dismissed now and she didn’t have any annoying medical staff to hide behind.

Vansh looked up when she stepped out of the hospital suite. His mouth hung open. In the past two days he had only caught glimpses of her face and tidbits of her words. It had been absolutely agonizing and took every bit of his willpower to not storm into the suite and demand that she speak to him directly. But he knew that if he did any such thing, alarm bells would have rang off in those pesky nurses’ minds and they would have made it their life’s mission in making sure that he never met her. So he put a stone on top of his heart and waited for the two days to pass.

Now, with her standing in front of him in her plain full sleeve kurti, it was as if that same heart learnt how to beat again.

With a smile on his face, he extended a hand. “Chalein?”

Riddhima simply walked past him.

Still mad. No worries. It’ll pass over soon enough.

Vansh followed after her.

* * *

The first ten minutes of the car ride was incredibly quiet. Vansh turned on the radio to fill the silence with some of Riddhima’s favorite music in the hopes her mood would lift. He couldn’t tell. She had her head turned towards the window.

They should have headed straight for home but Vansh didn’t want to do that just yet. He was finally getting some precious alone time with her and he didn’t want to lose it to Daadi hogging Riddhima all to herself.

He passed through solid iron gates, and parked the car in a spot towards the right.

“Yeh kahan aaye hai?” Riddhima asked looking up.

Vansh’s heart raced from hearing the words directed to him.

“Ek bahut hi khoobsurat mod par.” He told her with a smile.

Riddhima didn’t return it. “Mujhe ghar jaana hai.”

“Come on Riddhima. Itne dino hospital mein thi. Itni jaldi ghar jaane ki kya zaroorat hai.” He took his seatbelt off. “Let’s go for a walk.”

Huffing, Riddhima refused to listen. Vansh got out of the car, walked over to her side and pulled the door open. He waited until Riddhima rolled her eyes, and got out. Pressing a button, Vansh locked the car, and putting his arm around Riddhima’s shoulder, led her to a dirt path. Riddhima tried to shrug him off but he tightened his hold on her.

“Vihaan hadh mein raho.” She snapped at him.

Vansh was taken aback for a brief moment until he remembered what she had made him do two days ago.

“Riddhima mein-”

“You’ve been hired to act as my husband. Sach much ke pati nahi ho. Apni limit mein raho.” She walked out of his hold.

Her words pierced through his heart. He wanted to grab hold of her and state the truth but her threat scared him. What if she did something stupid again? His heart thudding, he slowly walked behind her.

What would it take for her to forgive him? He had planned on showering her with flowers, chocolates and little trinkets she may like but they somehow felt silly now. Whatever he did, it had to be bigger than that.

But if him being Vihaan soothed her heart even a little for now, then so be it. Whether as Vansh or Vihaan, he will get what he wants.

“Riddhima, why did you hurt yourself?” He asked as Vihaan.

It took a few moments but she eventually answered, “Because you married me.”

There was a deep pain in her voice. Vansh wondered who exactly she was referring to.

“You didn’t even bother to think about your family?”

“They wouldn’t care. Unhe unka Vansh mil gaya.” Her voice sounded dead.

Vansh clenched his fist. “Daadi would care.”

“Only for a few days. But phir unhe apne Vansh ki khushiyon ki parwa hone lag jayegi and she’ll start looking for another bride for him.”

Vansh desperately wanted to tell her that there won’t ever be another bride. The only woman entitled to the name of Mrs. Vansh Raisinghania is her.

“You don’t care about yourself?”

“Ab karne lag gayi hoon. I know now ki iss duniya mein Bappa ke sivaye mera koi nahi hai.”

Vansh’s heart broke. Before he could stop himself, he pulled on Riddhima’s elbow and turned her around. Her cheeks were coated with fresh tears. He reached out and wiped them with a single finger.

“Mein hoon na tumhara saath.” Vansh put as much sincerity as he could into Vihaan’s voice.

“I don’t want you.”

She resumed her walk. As he continued to follow Riddhima down the garden path, Vansh was once again left wondering if she aimed those words at Vihaan or at Vansh himself.


	4. desire

When Riddhima walked into the VR Mansion, it was with a heavy heart. She looked around the lobby and felt cold. Her eyes landed atop the staircase. It was where Vansh had first revealed himself as being her abductor. In his blue striped suit, and stoic expression, he had descended the stairs like a king and had determined her fate. She glanced over her shoulder at the main doors through which she had entered as a bride, foolishly believing she had any control over her life.

“Vansh, Riddhima,” Daadi’s voice caught Riddhima’s attention, “tum dono itne dino se kaha the? Itne saare phone kiye par kissi ne nahi uthaya.”

Riddhima wordlessly approached the stairs. The man behind her would handle the elderly woman.

“Riddhima, tumse kuch pucha hai meine.” She spoke in a stern voice.

“Daadi,” Vansh’s deep voice rang, “woh actually, mein Riddhima ke saath kuch time akele rehna chahta tha.” Riddhima continued to climb the stairs. “Itna sab kuch hua, hum dono ko, we just needed to be alone for a little while.”

“Woh sab toh teekh hai Vansh lekin bata toh deta. Tumhari koi khabar nahi milne ke karan meri toh jaan hi nikal thi jaa rahi thi.” She complained.

Riddhima hastened her steps to the bedroom. She didn’t want to hear about the overwhelming concern Daadi had for her grandson.

Closing the door behind her, Riddhima dragged her feet to the bed and plopped herself on it. She got under the covers, closed her eyes, and went to sleep.

* * *

After several minutes of placating Daadi, Vansh had finally managed to make the excuse of wanting to freshen up a bit before he joined them for dinner. He had entered the room with the intention of speaking to Riddhima a little more, but he saw her fast asleep. Gently sitting beside her, he caressed her hair. He’ll give her a few more hours before it was time to go eat.

* * *

Hours later when Riddhima had woken up from her nap, she had found herself in the kitchen pouring out her food. Apparently she had slept through dinner time and no one had bothered to wake her up.

She was transfering the food from their pots into containers when Ishani walked into the kitchen. With her headphones on, she had been dancing to whatever song she had been listening to. Riddhima’s eyes went down to her belly and her heart panged. Whatever the circumstances were, Ishani chose to keep the baby. Whether it was in remembrance of Sunny or because she genuinely loved the life growing inside of her, she wanted it.

“The fck are you looking at?” Ishani snapped.

Shaking her head, Riddhima looked up at her. Suspicious, icy eyes stated back .

“Kuch nahi.” Riddhima answered in a small voice.

“Apni yeh gandi nazar mujhse door hi rakhna okay?” She pointedly warned her. “Fcking weirdo.” She muttered disgustedly  before leaving the kitchen with her water bottle in hand.

Riddhima looked down at her plate of food. She lost her appetite.

* * *

Vansh had gotten carried away in responding to the numerous phone calls and emails he had received regarding his return. Many of his business associates had wanted an update on what the heck was going on and whether or not the rumors about his supposed death were true. Many hours had passed in him clearing out their doubts and ensuring there would be no strains in any business dealings.

When he had walked into the kitchen with his empty stomach, he hadn’t expected to see a plate full of food waiting for him. He smiled, thinking how despite her anger, Riddhima had cared enough about him to lay out his meal.

As he ate, he thought about how he was right about her. Just a few more days, and with enough romantic gestures, her anger would completely melt away.

* * *

The next morning, after Riddhima had finished with her shower, she sat in front of the bathroom sink and gazed at her stitched arm.

She ran her fingers over them.

She hid them underneath her bandages and full sleeved kurti.

* * *

Vansh looked up from lacing his shoes to see Riddhima step outside of the bathroom.

In Vihaan’s voice, he told her, “Mein Vansh hoon aaj finalize kar lete hai.”

Riddhima looked at him silently.

“Lawyer ko bulaya hai. Papers saath mein lekar aata hoga. Sab kuch wapas mere naam kar do. Matlab Vansh ke naam.” He stood up and straightened out his suit.

Riddhima left the room without saying a single word to him.

* * *

Riddhima had spent the better part of the day sitting out in the gazebo, staring out at the garden. She watched caterpillars slowly chew on leaves, bumblebees suck on nectar, and the butterflies fly around numerous colorful flowers.

There may have been peace in all of this, but Riddhima didn’t find any.

* * *

The entire day had gone by in a similar fashion for Vansh - negating rumors about his death, and ensuring the public that he is well and truly alive.

The lawyer who was supposed to come in today to talk about the property transfer, ended up cancelling the meeting at the last moment. Vansh had found this to be odd but he didn’t think much of it since he had the papers emailed to him the previous night. He’ll simply print them out himself and get Riddhima’s signature on them. 

* * *

Riddhima gulped down her prescribed medicines with an entire glass of water. She turned off the lights to the bathroom and entered the darkened bedroom.

She knew what she wanted. She just had to wait until she could ask for it.

* * *

Vansh entered the bedroom to see it was pitch black.

“Riddhima?” He called out curiously.

It was hardly eight o’clock. Had she really gone to sleep already?

Her night lamp turned on and illuminated her face. His fingers went limp around the legal file. He watched as Riddhima got out of bed and slowly approached him.

Vansh was about to inform her about the property papers when her words left him stunned.

“I want a baby.”


	5. bacha

To say Vansh was stunned would be an understatement. He had never expected Riddhima to utter those words, especially not under these circumstances. But now that he thought about it, it sort of made sense. Her near death experience might have incentivized her to grow her own family. A soft blush bloomed across Vansh’s face. She was ready to move on from what happened and start a family with him.

* * *

Even with the limited luminescence in the room, Riddhima saw the shining gleam in his eyes. It pained her.

Taking a deep breath, she crossed her arms across her chest.

“I know ki yeh tumhare contract mein nahi hai Vihaan.” His smile dropped, and body froze. Riddhima carried on. “But tum mujhe bacha do aur mein tumhe Vansh ki 5000 crore ki riyasat de dungi.”

His eyes hardened and flared in anger. “Have you fcking lost your mind?” He growled in a low voice. “Tumne mujhe samajh ke kya rakha hai!”

“A selfish man who doesn’t think about anyone but himself.” She replied coldly.

He clenched his jaw and fist. “Bhul jao. Tumhe bacha hargaz nahi milega.”

Riddhima shrugged. “Phir tumhe property bhi nahi milegi.”

“Riddhima-”

“It’s very simple Vihaan.” She interrupted. “Just think of yourself as a sperm donor. Ek sperm ke liye tumhe 5000 crore mil rahe hai. Kaun aadmi iss mauke ka fayda nahi uthayega?”

“Main.” He spoke firmly.

“Teekh hai. Then I’ll find someone else to impregnate me.” Riddhima turned around to head back to bed but was aggressively pulled back.

She looked back into furious eyes, yet she remained unfazed.

“You will do no such thing.” He bit out.

“Kyun? Mujhe kuch chahiye, tum nahi de rahe, so kissi aur ke paas kyun na jaoon?” She questioned him.

“Because I’m your-” He stopped himself, and after taking a deep breath, tried again. “Kyunki tum  _ Vansh Raisinghania _ ki patni ho. Agar tumhara bacha hoga toh issi ghar ka hoga.”

Even though her eyes burned with the formation of fresh tears, she curled her lips up into a smirk. “Are you saying I should go to Aryan?”

“Riddhima!” The property papers fell to the ground in favor of grabbing her by the shoulders.

“Mein kissi ke paas jaoon kya farq parta hai. Mera pati toh hai nahi.” Her eyes went cold.

“I’m  _ here _ .” He spoke with pained eyes. “Naam jo bhi ho, par pati hoon mein tumhara.” He pulled her closer. “If you’re going to go to anyone, then it’ll be  me .”

“Toh bacha do ge mujhe?” She asked.

“Yeh kya zid lekar baithi ho Riddhima?”

Angered, she broke out of his hold. “Zid nahi, zaroorat hai yeh meri. Mujhe apni family chahiye.”

With scrunched brows, he pointed towards the door. “Toh woh sab kya hai? Woh bhi toh tumhari family hai.”

“Kahan ki family? Kaunsi family?” Riddhima snapped at him. “Koi family nahi meri. Uss pure tabbar ne na jaane kitni baar meri jaan leni ki koshish ki hai. Aur mein bewakoof baar baar maaf karti rahi kyunki woh Vansh ki family hai. Woh unse pyaar karta hai, care karta hai, toh mujhe bhi karna chahiye. Aur mein karti rahi. Baar baar karti rahi. Vansh ke guzar ne ke baad bhi mein karti rahi aur mujhe kya mila? Phir se taane? Phir se jaan leva hamla? Electric shocks? Zabardasti ki shaadi?” Hot tears fell down her cheeks. “Mein toh insaan hoon hi nahi. Sab ko bas apni pari hui thi, par mere dard ka kya? Pati tha woh mera! Rishta chahiye perfect na ho par pyaar karti thi mein usse. Dil aur jaan se bhi zyaada.” Her voice cracked. “Yeh sab inhe thodi na nazar aaye ga. Unhe toh bas Vansh se matlab. Mere value bhi Vansh se related hai. Woh hai toh mein hoon, varna mujhe bhi koi haq nahi hai jeene ka.”

“That’s not true Riddhima.” He tried to hold her by the shoulders but she pushed him away.

“Yehi sach hai Vihaan.” She wiped her tears and sniffled. “Der se hi sahi but ab mujhe pata chal gaya hai ki mujhe family kabhi nahi milegi. Agar mujhe chahiye toh mujhe khud banani paregi. Mujhe beintehaa pyaar sirf mera bacha de sakta hai aur koi nahi.” More hot tears fell.

This time when she was held by the arms, Riddhima didn’t push him away.

“Riddhima, I think you need some time. Thoda shant ho kar iss baare mein socho.”

“Mein already soch chaki hoon Vihaan.” She answered calmly. “Mujhe bacha chahiye.” When he shook his head to presumably say something to deter her, Riddhima spoke. “Aur vaise bhi sabse zyaada profit toh tumhara hi toh hoga.” He looked at her confused. With a hollow smile, she clarified, “5000 crore ke ilava mere saath kahin raatein bitane ka mauka milega tumhe.” With a hauntingly empty laugh, she added, “Tumhari toh nikal pari Vihaan.”

He stepped away from her, crestfallen. He could only whisper her name.

“It’s okay Vihaan. Jis din mera bacha paida hoga mein saare papers sign kar dungi. Property ke, divorce ke, sab.”

He shook his head, thrown back by her words. “Divorce?”

“Of course. Jaise meine kaha, Raisinghanias meri family nahi hai. Toh mein yahan kyun rahoon? Taaki woh mujhe phir se abuse karte rahe aur mere bache ko pyaar?” She shook her head. “Mein apne bacho ko yahan ek pal ke liye bhi nahi rehne dungi. Aur vaise bhi tum kyun iss jhoote bhandan mein bandhe rahoge? Meri aur Vansh ki shaadi sirf kuch hi mahino ki thi. Divorce milna itna mushkil nahi hoga.” She swallowed over the large lump in her throat. “Aur vaise bhi, Daadi hai na. Woh apne pote ko itni der udhaas nahi dekh sakti. Bahut jaldi tumhare liye rishte aane lag jayenge aur kar lena tum shaadi.” Her voice wavered. “Bas yeh make sure karna ki ladki tumhari family ki pasand ki ho, meri jaise nahi.”

He blinked repeatedly. “That’s not happening. Yeh bacha mera bhi hoga.”

“Bilkul nahi.” Riddhima immediately objected.

“Riddhima, bacha hum dono ka hoga ya bilkul bhi nahi.”

“Agar mujhe bacha nahi mila toh tumhe property bhi nahi milegi.” She argued.

Angered, he took a step towards her. “Humare bache ke upar pura haq hai Riddhima. Tum aise hi usse chura ke nahi le jaa sakti.”

She squinted her eyes at him. “What do you mean chura ke? Jab tumhara koi haq hi nahi hoga toh churana kahan se aa gaya? Woh bacha sirf mera hoga.”

He shook his head. “No. Agar tumhara yeh irada hai then there won’t be a baby.”

Riddhima felt her heart break. “You can’t do that.”

“Kyun? Agar mujhe bacha nahi milega toh tumhe kyun mile?” His eyes were glistening. “Riddhima, yeh family sirf tumhari nahi meri bhi hogi.”

“Nahi Vihaan.” She watched him hold back on a curse. “Mein yahan rahe ke apni family shuru nahi kar sakti. Aur bhulo mat ab tum Vansh Raisinghania ho. Tumhe yehi rehna hoga, issi ghar mein, issi family ke saath. Agar tum chaho bhi na phir bhi toh tum inhe chod nahi sakte kyunki  _ Vansh _ inhe kabhi nahi chodega.” Her voice wavered when she told him, “But woh mujhe chod sakta hai. Aur koi kuch nahi kahega. Instead, woh toh usse pura support karenge.”

“Par mein tumhe nahi chod sakta.” He spoke. “Especially when you’ll be pregnant.” Stepping towards her, he cupped her face. “Families are meant to stay together.”

“Bullshit. Mujhe Raisinghanias ke saath koi naata nahi rakhna. But mein tumhe ek mauka dene ke liye tayar hoon Vihaan.” A pained look washed over his eyes. Taking a deep breath, she picked up the property papers. “Jis din mera bacha paida hoga, mein puri property tumhare naam kar dungi. Par usse pehle nahi. Woh kya hai na mein risk nahi le sakti. Kya pata mein tumhe aaj property de doon aur tum kal bacha dene se mana kar do. Ya phir aisa bhi ho sakta hai ki somebody tries to harm me while I’m pregnant. So Vihaan,” Taking a deep breath, she handed the file back to him, “Consider this your trial run. Agar bacha chahiye toh pehle uski Maa ki kadar karna seekho. Varna hum dono mein se tumhe koi nahi milega.”

With the file transferred back to him, exhausted, Riddhima went back to bed.

* * *

Vansh looked down at the file in his hand.

The empire he had created with his own two hands, poured his blood, sweat and tears into, and sacrificed many peaceful days and nights for. It was all there. His pride, his treasured jewel. Yet, today for the first time it seemed worthless.

He directed his eyes at Riddhima. She had covered herself underneath the blankets, but Vansh saw the way her body trembled. He heard the sniffles and sobs she was trying to hide.

He threw the file to the side table and shrugged himself out of his jacket. He locked the door, took off his shoes and got into bed.

Sliding his arms around her waist, he pulled her back against his chest. Surprised by his action, she stopped crying for a brief moment. He leaned into the crook of her neck, and lightly brushed his lips against it. She turned back to look at him, and Vansh met her gaze.

In Vihaan’s voice he told her, “Yeh bacha bhi mera hoga, aur tum bhi.”


	6. complicated

Riddhima turned off the faucet for the shower and grabbed her towel. She gently dabbed away the water droplets from her body, being extra mindful of the stitches on her arm. Wrapping the towel around herself, she walked out of the shower and headed for the sink where the first aid kit was waiting for her.

Opening the box, she pulled out a small pair of scissors, and a roll of thick white bandages. It took her great difficulty, but she managed to apply the bandage on. When she was done however, she felt a dizzying sensation wash over her. The pair of scissors clattered into the sink, and she gripped the edge of the sink for support. She tried to focus on her current surroundings, but it was impossible to do so. She made herself stand up straight and with leaden feet she turned around. The bathroom door was just a few feet away. All she had to do was walk a couple of steps, slide the door open and let the fresh air in.

She pushed herself off of the counter and took one heavy step forward. Then another, and another, and another. She fell forward against the door, and put all the energy she could muster into sliding it open. She inhaled a deep breath when the fresh air hit her face. It was however, a bit too late as she collapsed to the ground.

* * *

Vansh rubbed the back of his neck as he walked back to his bedroom. Riddhima’s demand from last night had put him in a huge predicament. He had been out shooting some hoops in the hopes that playing the sport would give him some clarity like it always did. It failed him this time as he couldn’t find a single solution.

Firstly, there was no way he would ever agree to giving Riddhima sole custody of his child. It’s  his baby for goodness’ sake. Why on earth would he ever abandon it? Secondly, there’s no way he’s letting go of Riddhima either. He heard what she said about the Raisinghanias not being her family, but surely she mustn’t have meant that. It had to be her overwhelming emotions clouding her judgment. Not to mention she was taking antidepressants as well. Surely the side effects of those pills were playing an influence on how she was feeling.

When Vansh stepped into the bedroom, his blood ran cold.

“Riddhima!” He dashed across the room and crouched before his wife who was laying on the floor. “Riddhima!” He vigorously shook her.

Did she do something stupid again?

He immediately checked her wrists and saw nothing untoward done to them. He released some of his stress out with a sigh.

“Riddhima.” He patted her cheek.

More tension dissipated when he saw her stir. When she groaned, he immediately picked her up in his arms, and took her to the bed. She would surely be upset with him for making the pillows and bed sheets wet, but he didn’t care. At least she would be alright to do so.

Riddhima opened her eyes, and Vansh held her hand.

Placing a hand on her cheek, he asked, “Are you feeling okay?”

She shook her head. He immediately worried again.

“What’s wrong? Should I call the doctor?”

Another shake to her head.

“Chakkar aa re hai.” She managed to get out.

“Why?” He pressed a hand against her forehead to check her temperature.

He couldn’t tell if anything was wrong though. She was clammy and cold to the touch.

“I think it was too steamy inside.” She weakly pointed towards the bathroom.

He looked over his shoulder and saw the fogged up bathroom mirror. Vansh pursed his lip and looked back at her.

“Window khol leti.” He slightly reprimanded.

She scrunched her eyebrows. “Aise kaise khol leti? Agar kissi ne mujhe dekh liya toh?”

“Tumhe kaun dekhta?” Vansh argued.

“Kyun? Mujhe koi kyun nahi dekh sakta?” Riddhima questioned, sitting up.

Her sudden movement loosened the towel around her. Vansh’s eyes darted down to where her cleavage peaked through. His pupils widened, he raked his eyes over her body. Her legs were entirely bare and there was a small slit from the towel that teased the inside of her thighs. Her chest rose and fell with every breath she took and Vansh wanted nothing more than to lift the covers and descend on the valleys hiding underneath. His mouth hung open, and he extended a hand to reach for the towel, but then stopped. Curling his hand back, he shook his head.

He abruptly stood up and stepped away from her. He closed his eyes and took some deep breaths.

With his back turned to her, he told her, “Mein tumhare liye breakfast lekar aata hoon. Put on some clothes.”

Before Riddhima had a chance to say anything, he left the room.

* * *

Riddhima fell back against the pillow as soon as Vansh left. She pressed a hand against her forehead and breathed deeply.

This wasn’t the first time Vansh had been close to her, but the circumstances had never been this complicated. He used to play games with her in the past, but it had never been one as this sick. Making her believe he was dead was one thing, but to assume another identity and have her bring him into the house was another. Not to mention the  _ audacity _ he had to throw her out of the mansion and demand a divorce from her. She may have forgiven Vihaan for his transgressions but Vansh?

Her heart tugged painfully.

He did it all knowingly. The mangalsutra, the sindoor, he played around with it like it meant nothing to him. If that was the case then so be it. If he couldn’t be bothered to honor their marriage, then neither would she. If he was so hell bound on being Vihaan, then fine. Vihaan he shall be. Once she gets her baby, she’ll give him the divorce like he wanted.

Sitting up, she inhaled a deep breath. She rubbed a hand over her chest where her heart should be. She had to steady it and be strong.

It’s just sex, she told herself.

_ With her husband _ , her heart whispered.

No, not her husband.

_ The man she loves _ , it whispered again.

No, not him either.

She closed her eyes. Just a man. It’ll be sex with just a man. Nothing more, nothing less.

With another deep breath, Riddhima got out of bed.

* * *

Vansh took a deep breath before he pushed the door to his bedroom. Riddhima was standing in front of the vanity wearing the same kurti as the day before. She had swept her hair to the front of her body and was reaching behind to tie the dori. Vansh walked further inside and placed the breakfast tray on the small table.

He was about to leave again, when Riddhima called out to him. Or rather, called out to Vihaan.

“Can you help me?”

Vansh turned around.

“Dori baand sakte ho? Meri kalaiyi mein dard ho raha hai.” She quietly requested.

Keeping his lips pressed, Vansh walked over to her. He gripped the dori tightly and tried to tie it as quickly as he could. He no longer trusted himself to be around Riddhima without losing his control. He gave it one strong tug and it ripped away from her kurti. He looked at the clothed string in his hand then at Riddhima’s reflection in the mirror.

“I-I’m sorry Riddhima, I didn’t mean to.” He supplied weakly.

Riddhima averted her eyes, and Vansh noticed the way the muscles in her back shifted. His lips parted and he had the strong urge to run his fingertips over her bare skin. Riddhima swept her hair back, and Vansh, swallowing, looked away.

Wordlessly, she walked around him to the cupboard where she pulled out a pair of sweats and a hoodie.

“Tum jaa sakte ho.” She told him with a scowl on her face.

“Riddhima, mein-”

“You can leave Vihaan.” She restated in a loud voice. “You’ve helped enough.”

With one final glare, she left for the bathroom. He looked down at the ripped string in his hand. Vansh closed his eyes, and sighed. 

* * *

The entire day had passed with Riddhima avoiding the Raisinghanias again. Daadi had sat with her for a few minutes in the morning after the prayers, but had been quickly whisked away by Ishani. After that, no one had even bothered to see where she was or what she was doing. It was just as well. She didn’t have any desire to talk to any of them either. She was sure Kabir and Anupriya had walked by a couple of times to see what she was upto but there wasn’t anything interesting to report.

It had been raining all day, and ideally Riddhima should have stayed inside so that she didn’t get sick. But the constant fall of the raindrops had immensely soothed her.

Riddhima knew she didn’t have anyone to call as her own in that mansion but with time she had come to believe Vansh could be that one. His recent behavior however had made her think otherwise. It had been so easy for him to fool her about his death and identity after all. Maybe he had fooled her into believing he truly loved her too. That’s fine. If he could fool her, then she could do the same. When he touches her, kisses her, she’ll fake the love too.

Riddhima hunched in on herself and cried.

She’ll fake it. She’ll fake it all. She’ll make herself strong so that she won’t be affected by him.

“Riddhima.”

Startled, she twisted her body and saw Vansh standing at the gazebo’s entrance. Thunder rumbled overhead and the lightning illuminated his silhouette in the darkness.

“Yahan akele kya kar rahi ho?” He asked, stepping further inside.

Not answering him, Riddhima turned back around. Feeling a warm body behind her, she fidgeted.

“Riddhima, look at me.” By her chin, he guided her face to turn his way.

Riddhima kept her eyes closed so that she didn’t have to see him. He swept his thumb over her wet cheeks.

“Why were you crying?” He asked.

She shrugged herself out of his hold and turned back around.

“Riddhima.” He gently pulled her by the shoulder and made her entire body turn his way. So that she doesn’t turn away again, he caged her with his locked hands. “Talk to me Riddhima. Did anyone say anything to you?”

With a sad smile, she shook her head.

“Toh phir?”

“You know what the problem is Vihaan. Aise anjaan bane ki koshish mat karo.”

“Riddhima, please.” He insisted.

“Kya please? Mujhe khush hone ka haq nahi hai kya?” Her lips quivered.

“Of course you do.” He placed a hand on her cheek. “But jo tum maang rahi ho-”

“Kya maang rahi hoon?” Her voice wavered. “For someone to love me?” The corner of her eyes burned with tears. “I just want someone to love me Vihaan. Why is that so difficult? Is it really that hard to love me?”

He furiously shook his head. “Of course not Riddhima.”

“Then why don’t you love me?” Her voice cracked. She brought one of his hands to her lips and kissed it. “Love me Vihaan.”

Thunder cracked loudly over their heads.

If he wouldn’t make the first move, then Riddhima supposed she would have to do it herself. Holding him by the back of his neck, she lowered him for a kiss. It’s not at all how she had wanted her first kiss with him to be like. Her lips were shaky while his were absolutely still. Her lips were dry and chapped, while his were incredibly soft and wet. She dug her nails at the back of his neck so that he would kiss her back but he didn’t. She held him by the front of his shirt and pulled him forward so that he would react, but he didn’t. He remained absolutely still like a statue and Riddhima couldn’t stop herself from crying again.

She scooted away from him, and hugged her knees to her chest. He didn’t even do anything and yet he managed to make her feel more unworthy of love than anyone in the world. Why the hell did she survive that day? She should have died right then and there.

“Riddhima.” He reached a hand out but she swatted him away.

“Haath mat lagana.” She cried.

“Riddhima, this isn’t right.”

She shook her head.

“It doesn’t feel right to me.”

“What doesn’t feel right?” She sobbed. “Mujhse pyaar karna? Thank you Vihaan, aur kuch kehne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Mein samajh chuki hoon.”

“No Riddhima listen to me.” He tried to hold her wrists but she struggled against him. “Riddhima listen!”

“Mujhe kuch nahi suna!” In clipped words, she added, “Aur ab toh mujhe tumse kuch chahiye bhi nahi.”

“Riddhima.” He squeezed her wrists.

“Meine kaha na mujhe kuch nahi chahiye.” Shaking her head, she pulled her hands out of his hold. “Na bacha chahiye, na tum, na tumhara pyaar, yeh ghar, family, kuch nahi chahiye mujhe!”

With wobbly knees, Riddhima scrambled out of his grip and ran back inside the mansion.

“Riddhima!”

She made the biggest mistake of her life by staying back in the mansion. She should have left a long time ago.

“Riddhima!”

She looked over her shoulder and saw Vansh running into the mansion after her. She bounded up the stairs faster. She was about to reach the room, when Vansh twirled her around, and in a single swoop, picked her up and wrapped her legs around his waist. Riddhima gasped as he led them inside and closed the door shut with his foot.

“Let me go!” She pushed at him but he wouldn’t budge.

“Not going to happen.” He growled.

“Kyun? Ab kya chahte ho mujhse?”

“ _ Riddhima _ .” With her still hooked onto him, he pushed her back against the bed. “You’re going to shut up and listen to me okay?” She tried to protest, but he pressed a single finger against her lips. “Just  _ listen _ , okay?” When Riddhima kept quiet, he softly told her. “It’s not about love Riddhima. It’s about intentions, and the way you go about doing things.” He traced her lips. “I want a baby with you Riddhima. I want it  _ so  _ bad. But not like this. It-It just doesn’t feel right to me. I can’t have sex with you like this. I need you to love me.” He hovered over her lips, and asked, “Tell me Riddhima, can you love me?” 

Riddhima didn’t have an answer.

“If you want me to love you, then you have to love me too. That’s the only way this baby will be born varna nahi aayega.”

“No.” Riddhima vehemently shook her head as if her child was being snatched away from her arms. “Mera bacha aise mat cheeno. Mein, mein,” Her voice cracked over her sob. “Mein mar jaoongi uske bina.”

She leaned her head forward, and their foreheads connected.

“Then tell me that you’ll love me.” He whispered against her lips.

There was an immediate no at the tip of her tongue. She can’t love Vihaan; he’s not real. She can’t love Vansh either because of what he did.

“Yeh pyaar ki baat kyun lekar baithe ho? You know it’s not necessary to have sex.”

“Mere liye toh hai.” He responded. “Besides, if you didn’t care about love phir tum mujhse yeh baar baar nahi kehti ‘love me Vihaan’.” He trailed his lips against her cheek. “You would have straight up asked me to fck you.” She shivered as his words were laid hotly against her neck. “But you didn’t say that because even you know how cold that sounds. And you want to be warm don’t you?” He slid his hands underneath her hoodie and trailed them up towards her chest. “You want to be  _ loved _ .”

Finding her breasts, he cupped and squeezed them. Riddhima shivered and gasped at the contact.

“Bolo na Riddhima. You want to be loved right?” He asked again.

Her eyes closed, Riddhima nodded.

“Then say you’ll love me too.” He squeezed her again.

She opened her eyes and found Vansh hovering over her.

“Say you’ll love me Riddhima.” His eyes were hopeful while Riddhima’s were filled with pain.

No matter how much she wanted to say yes, she couldn’t. Her wrist pained again as if to remind her of the wounds he had inflicted.

Vansh slid his hands down her hot stomach and removed himself from her. She instantly felt like something was missing. Riddhima sat up and looked down at the file that was flung at her.

“Yeh kya hai?” She asked, picking the file up and opening it.

“It’s a new contract regarding your pregnancy.” He told her.

Riddhima flipped through the pages and read the content. Her heart beat fast as she read the stipulations that were laid out.

“Yeh sab kya hai?” She asked, her voice raised.

“Agar tum bache ko lekar shart rakh sakti ho, then so can I.” He told her calmly.

Furious, she threw the file at him. “I’ll never sign those papers.”

He shrugged. “Then no baby.”

“I’ll leave.” She challenged. “I’ll find someone else, aur, aur tumhe property bhi nahi dungi.”

Growling, he dragged her by the legs and pinned her down. She tried pushing him off but he grabbed her wrists and kept them still.

“You only have two options Riddhima. Either you sign those papers and do everything as it says, or you learn how to love me.”

“Kabhi nahi.”

“It’s up to you Riddhima. Either you get cold, meaningless fcks out of me, or,” He brushed his lips against hers, “hot, and passionate sex where I make love to you all night long. So tell me Riddhima.” He ran his hands over the side of her thighs. “How do you want our baby?”

She looked into his eyes, and felt the resolve she was trying so hard to build slowly start to crumble away.

“You want love, I want love. So why aren’t we making love?” He planted kisses along her jaw. “Let’s make love Riddhima.” He spoke hotly against her skin. “Let’s make our baby out of love.” He slid his hands underneath her hoodie, and over her hot stomach again.

She rubbed her leg against his and his lips shifted over to hers. He ran his tongue over her lips and wetted them. Riddhima gasped and Vansh peaked his tongue inside. She clutched his shoulders for support as he kissed her deeply. He lifted one of her legs and hooked it over his back thigh. He gently moved against her and Riddhima felt a beautiful sensation wash over her. He continued to kiss her in tune to the rhythm of his grinds and Riddhima didn’t know what to think of anymore. His hands continued to massage and squeeze her breasts, and she wanted nothing more than for him to touch them directly.

She moaned into his kiss when he slid one hand down into her pants and ran his fingers over her core. She tried parting her lips from him so that she could catch a breath, but he refused to let go. Instead, he continued to stroke her up and down until she became absolutely, and positively wet. On instinct, she parted her legs for him and after circling her, he inserted two of his fingers inside. She writhed at the contact but he kept her pinned down. His thumb over her bud, he rubbed it with immense pressure while he picked up the pace with his fingers. Riddhima bucked her hips as her sensitivity grew. It simply made Vansh move even more furiously against her. His thumb pressed and circled down harder, his fingers thrusted faster and his kisses grew even more heated. Riddhima dug her nails against his back as she felt herself come close to an ecstatic high.

At last the kiss was broken and Riddhima gasped for much needed fresh air.

“Say my name.” He spoke harshly against her.

“Wh-” Riddhima still wasn’t entirely in her senses.

“Say my name Riddhima.” He repeated, as he moved his fingers faster. “Say it. I want to hear it when you cum. Will you do that for me?” He kissed her again. “Hmm? Will you say my name when you cum for me? Would you do that for me Riddhima?” She whimpered as she got closer. “Do it Riddhima, say it.” He spoke more insistently. “Say my name.  _ Say it Riddhima _ _!_ ”

“ _VANSH!_ ” She screamed as her body shook with her orgasm.

“Oh fck,” He whispered as her inner muscles clenched over his fingers.

They continued to clench for a minute or two until she came down from her high. He carefully removed his fingers, and ran them over her dripping wet core. She shivered when his fingertips brushed over her hypersensitive bud. Her swollen lips were gently kissed again.

“Riddhima,” He whispered as he peppered her face with soft kisses.

“Vansh,” She looped her arms around his neck and gazed into his eyes.

He kissed her deeply again. “You have no idea how long I waited to hear you say my name Riddhima.”

She pushed him back. “You waited? Intezaar toh meine kiya hai Vansh. Tinka tinka mein mar rahi thi tumhare bina. Tum toh meri tadap dekh kar maaze le rahe the.”

He shook his head. “Nahi Riddhima.”

“It is true.” She further pushed him back. “Sach batao. If I hadn’t hurt myself, toh tum Vihaan bana chod dete?”

His silence confirmed her doubts. She pushed him fully off of herself and got off the bed.

“Tumne sahi kaha tha Vansh. It’s much easier for you to hurt me than it is to love me.” His eyes widened as his words were echoed back to him. “Ek aakhri dard de do mujhe. Make me pregnant and then divorce me.”

“Riddhima-” With a shake to his head, he tried reaching out for her, but she pulled away before he could do so.

Unable to look at him any further, she went to the bathroom and locked herself inside.

“Riddhima darwaza kholo please.” Vansh’s pleas came through over the sound of his rampant knocking.

Riddhima hugged her knees to her chest and cried.


End file.
